Thursday, September 18, 2008

Quotes to Make You Think...

What do you call a male ladybug?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle before lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

If man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the self-help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice?"

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Few women admit their age, Fewer men act it!

No matter how far money goes, it still can’t go as far as the next paycheck.

There is nothing so comforting as the patter of little children’s feet about a home, because the moment the sound stops one knows that they are up to something they shouldn’t be.

There is nothing that upsets a person quite as much as having company drop in and see the house looking as it usually does.


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